Sunday, June 19, 2011

Don't Leave Me!

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (NIV)

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Philippians 4:6a "Do not be anxious (worry) about anything,"

I have always been afraid of abandonment. As a baby, I was given up for adoption. While growing up, I was always afraid of being "left behind". As an adult, I see all my friends getting married, having children, moving away...... all things that cause me to feel as though I was abandoned. My parents even moved away when they retired, thus the feelings of abandonment happened once again.

I have even distanced myself (consciously or subconsciously I don't know) from people when I sensed that their lives were changing in such a way that would "abandon" me. I always told myself that "they were too busy" or that "they don't need me taking up their time". Time after time I've done this.... friends in high school, college, family members.... all because they couldn't always be my friend when I wanted them to be.

These fears of abandonment are not true. While it is true that life changes (and people's lives change over time) that doesn't mean that I can't still be a part of that life. People will let you down (intentionally or not). They can't always cater to my every need or whim. Nor can I do the same to them.

However, when I feel abandoned, God is still with me..... He commands me not to fear because He will always be with me! Even when my friends can't help me, God can! Even when I feel alone, God is with me!

At the same time, I cannot compare myself to what others have and then use those "haves" to feel worse about myself. Just because we aren't the same, doesn't mean that we can't be friends and support each other. Just because we are in different seasons of life, doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other and have things in common. I have to remember that God has a purpose for me during this time in my life, just like he has a purpose for my friend who may be in a different situation.

Lord, help me to remember that You will never leave me. You are my strong foundation. You are my provider. Through You, I can do all things. Help me to remember that I am Your child and that You care for me. Help me not to be envious of what others have. Help me to be used for good according to Your plan. Teach me to be content. Amen.

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