Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Invisible Woman

Did you ever wish for a super power? I used to love watching super hero cartoons when I was growning up.... Superman, Batman, The Justice League.... and like any child, I imagined "what if". Wouldn't it be cool to be able to fly, or have super strength? Well, I have a super power... I am the invisible woman! I have the ability to stand in a crowd of people and NEVER be noticed.... sometimes that's a blessing; other times? a curse. I have wondered many times, "Would people miss me if I was gone? Would people even realize I wasn't there?" Lies of the devil, I know, but still a consequence of feeling invisible. I have always been an overly cautious person.... never one to reach out and make friends easily. As a result, I tend to "blend in" to my surroundings, standing back, taking it all in. I can't complain too much... I have developed great "people watching" skills and have good intuition about other people. However, when I feel lonely or sad because I don't think people notice me, I have no one to blame except myself. In my nightly reading, I am reading "God Chicks" by Holly Wagner. In her book, she speaks to women about different things we should be (warrior chick, friend chick, etc.). In the chapter, 'Friend Chick' Wagner writes how our different personalities can impact our friendships. She focuses on Hippocrates's 4 different personality types. She writes that Hippocrates came up with the types so that we can understand why people react the way they do. Wagner says that we are a combination of the 4 types, but that we have a more dominant type. I (of course!) am the melancholy type. In reading the description, there is no way I could deny that. I am a deep thinker, creative and artistic, like things in order (can you say OCD?), but I also tend to be pessimistic and can become depressed when other people don't measure up to what is wanted or expected. That spoke to me. I am so quick to get irritated at friends when they don't do/say things that I want them to. Then I use my irritation as an excuse to not "get involved" or to try and distance myself from people. I've screwed up some friendships in the past because I would get irritated that people didn't live up to my unrealistic standards. I need to work on that. I can't always rely on other people to notice me, cater to me, do what I want..... I have to reach out to others and be their friend, notice them, cater to them. In "God Chicks", Wagner also talks about loyalty in friendships and how no relationship (friendship or otherwise) won't always be 50/50. She says, "In every relationship, there are times when one person is doing most of the giving." I cannot always be the one who does all the getting, I must also give. I can give my loyalty to my friends when they are having a tough time. I can give my loyalty and support to my friends when they are having good times. I can even give support to my friends when great things are happening to them that I want for my life! (That's the hardest one!) I have to take my eyes off myself and focus in on others. When I do that, I step out.... I no longer am invisible! "A friend loves at ALL times" Proverbs 17:17a

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