Ever feel stuck? In a rut? In your own thinking? Feel like your life is a nonstop cycle? This has been me lately. The same thoughts keep coming up and I just don't know WHAT to do..........
I need wisdom.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8 (NIV)
Maybe that is my problem----- I'm REALLY good at ASKING for wisdom- but do I BELIEVE and NOT DOUBT? Sadly, no. Don't get me wrong--- I know that God can do ANYTHING and that HE knows all and leads us in the way we should go in our lives. So why can't I believe that He will give me wisdom for my everyday life? Is it because I want to always be in control? Maybe. Yes.
Like right now, God is trying to teach me to be patient. (And for those who know me well, you KNOW how much I don't want to learn that lesson!) The Lord has answered a prayer (well, shown me the PROMISE of an answered prayer) but the time is not NOW for the fulfillment of my prayer. The Lord needs me to continue to seek Him, follow Him, pray for His wisdom....... even if the answer can't happen on my own time-frame. As a result, I've experienced frustration...... WHY can't it be answered now? WHY must I continue to wait? WHY is this promise not a simple answer?
This frustration automatically makes me go into "control" mode. In my mind I think, "SURELY there is SOMETHING that can be done to hurry this promise along!" Which leads to dwelling on the situation, trying to "fix" the problem, and my feeling stuck in the situation.
THEN I make it worse by asking friends their opinions as to what I should do. Typically that leads to even MORE frustration. ESPECIALLY since God has already told me, "Wait on me. Be patient. I am in control."
I need wisdom. But I don't need to just ask.... I need to BELIEVE.
Father, Help me to not only ask but to also believe. I trust You with my eternal salvation. Help me to fully trust you in EVERY situation. Amen.